IN LOVING MEMORY OF
My dearest angel, our 9 year old Pekingese dog Kalu left us
and his physical body on December 20th, 2006
at about 4.30 am, leaving all of us with an aching void, tears, fond memories and an acute sense of loss.
On his last day on this Earth, he had gotten paralyzed, unable to move his hind legs, breaking my heart and telling me
that he is going. That evening I cried as someone had wrenched my heart, unable to see him like this,
helpless, quiet, joyless, limp. His kidneys were malfunctioning due to which he had to have glucose everyday.
Last two days before he died, he was shrieking and yelping in pain. I somehow knew he would not survive this time.
I think this time he gave up all hope and said ‘ENOUGH’, my little body really can’t take anymore intensive treatment
and I am going away, you don’t have to put me to sleep, I am leaving anyway”. On his second last night, he was in Mom’s room,
shrieking, yelping in pain, and early morning he stood by Mom’s bedside, with tears in his eyes, somehow telling her that he is going.
I cried watching him on his last day on earth, helpless, unable to move, heartbreaking..!!
I still suffer from guilt that I could not always be there for him. But I know in my heart of hearts that he will come back
and allow me to give him all the love that he needs. These few days have been the worst days of my life,
knowing I will never see my lil angel again. I cry listening to sad songs that will always remind me of my lil heart,
now in heaven, hopefully playing with his pals, healthy and full of vigor again, over at Rainbow Bridge..
His red coat, that I had bought for him on his last days, that he wore till the last moment, is lying with me
to remind me of him always, with his fur still on the coat. I sniff it to remind me of him. His photos adorn my bedside,
I keep going over his videos, somehow hoping that he will come back.. I know I am dwelling on my grief,
but it’s rare that someone touches your life so, loves you unconditionally,
licks you when you are crying tears of pain and makes everything okay.
He knew what to do to make me smile.
For my Kalu baby I have become vegetarian again, as that was the only thing I could do
that would sanctify his memory in my mind.